Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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