Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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