Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
