lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
