Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
