I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
