even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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