I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
