season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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