How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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