Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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