Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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