This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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