Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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