but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
