I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
