someone get that fucking seahorse.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
