just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize