the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
