Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
