Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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