does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
