He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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