Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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