covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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