Kiss
Puke
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
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