the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize