I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
