She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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