Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
