I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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