I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize