well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
