I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
