Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
