Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize