all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
