out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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