Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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