for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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