Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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