Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize