the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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