For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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