I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
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since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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