I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
