it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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