He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
