So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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