It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
