Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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