There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Acid is not a monday night drug
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
