Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize