My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
