:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize